“And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech” (Genesis 11:1).

Noah and his family all spoke the same language. They understood each other quite well. Years later, when the Tower of Babel was being built, everyone on earth was still speaking that same language. God had commanded them to spread out and replenish the earth, but they refused and set their minds to build a great tower and make a name for themselves.

God spread them out by dividing their languages. “Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech. So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city” (Genesis 11:7-8). It is amazing how effective this was. If you have ever tried to learn a new language, you can appreciate God’s handiwork in dividing the languages.

"There is a masculine way of thinking and communicating, and there is a feminine way of thinking and communicating."

Language became the great dividing line between human beings. All the people who spoke the same language gathered themselves together and separated themselves from the other groups that they could not understand. Some Bible-believing scientists suggest that this may well have become the dividing line for the races as well. They say that each subset of the total gene pool developed its own unique characteristics down through the centuries. These great differences helped to separate people and spread them out around the world rather than congregating in one giant city.

It must have been a strange and frustrating experience on the day that God divided the languages. Have you ever tried to communicate with someone who speaks a different language? Even the simplest message can become impossible to get across. Though most couples speak at least one common language, there is a similar problem between a husband and a wife. Men and women communicate differently. There is a masculine way of thinking and communicating, and there is a feminine way of thinking and communicating.

Women tend to be more emotional than men. Men tend to be more logical.

Women are often more interested in the inner workings of relationships. Men are often more interested in how things are put together and what makes them work.

Women need security. Men need someone to brag on them.

A woman needs her husband to spend time talking with her and sharing all the secrets of his heart with her. A man needs his wife to be interested in fulfilling his physical desires.

The list of differences could go on and on. These differences often amount to a language barrier between the genders. If we could see captions over our heads, we would realize that all too often we are talking to each other, we are saying words out loud, but the text in the husband’s caption does not match the text in the wife’s caption. How can we solve this problem? Whose job is it to be sure that we work out our differences?

God’s Word puts the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the man. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (I Peter 3:7). We are to dwell with them according to knowledge. We are to know the differences and account for them. We are to learn the language, if you will.

The responsibility to understand the unique challenges of communication lies with the man, but the wife can help matters by working to learn the husband’s language as well. Learn what will cause your mate to feel loved. Learn what will make your mate feel cared for, and make sure that you are speaking that language on a regular basis.

I hope things are going well in your marriage, but if you ever begin to feel that things are getting rough, don’t despair. You can restore unity. Learn the language!